End the Day on a Positive Note

Ever feel like bedtime is less 'gentle wind-down' and more 'negotiation with a tiny, irrational CEO?' You’re not alone. This is about hacking the end of the day with a goodnight ritual that actually feels good—think less 'battle of wills,' more 'peace treaty with bonus cuddles.' If you’re craving a bedtime routine that leaves everyone (mostly) smiling, this one’s for you.

Consistent bedtime rituals help kids’ brains shift from 'daytime chaos' to 'nighttime calm,' lowering cortisol and boosting oxytocin (that’s the snuggly, bonding hormone). For parents, these moments can also trigger a sense of closure and connection, helping everyone’s nervous system hit the brakes. Over time, this predictability builds trust and security, making sleep less of a battleground and more of a safe harbor.

How to do it

  • Pick one or two simple, repeatable actions, such as a silly handshake, a secret phrase, or a quick story.

  • Keep the routine short and sweet—there’s no need for an elaborate, 45-minute bedtime performance.

  • Be consistent with your routine, but stay flexible. If your child wants to swap the handshake for a foot bump, go with the flow.

  • End the routine with a clear, loving signal that means "goodnight." This could be a special phrase, a song, or even dimming the lights.

  • Celebrate your own success with a deep breath—or a piece of chocolate. No judgment!

Tips:

  • Choose actions that are easy to repeat every night.
  • Let your child have some input to make the routine special for both of you.
  • Consistency helps kids know what to expect, but small changes can keep things fun.

When you turn off the bedroom light or tuck in the blanket.

Say the special goodnight phrase or do the handshake—even if it’s just a quick fist bump.
Smile at your child and say, 'We did it!' or give yourself a mental high-five as you close the door.
Pick a special goodnight phrase or handshake with your child and practice it together once.

When your child climbs into bed.

Hand them the stuffed animal and say, 'Goodnight, [stuffed animal’s name] and [child’s name]!'
Give your child a gentle hug or pat yourself on the back for making it to bedtime.
Place your child’s favorite stuffed animal on their pillow before bedtime.

After your child brushes their teeth.

Read just one page or even just look at the cover together.
Whisper, 'Sweet dreams!' and enjoy the moment of calm before you tiptoe out.
Pre-select a short bedtime story and put it by the bed.