Be Mindful of Your Own Social Biases

Ever had your kid repeat something you said in the car, but in front of your in-laws, at full volume? Yeah, turns out kids are like little Roombas for your social quirks—picking up every crumb, including the ones you’d rather hide under the couch. If you’ve ever caught yourself cringing at your own words coming out of a tiny mouth, this is for you. Time to check our own programming before the mini-me starts running the software.

Being aware of your own biases and modeling fairness helps your child develop empathy, open-mindedness, and critical thinking. Their brains are wired to learn by imitation, so when you demonstrate respect and curiosity about differences, their neural pathways for social understanding and compassion get stronger. Plus, you’re less likely to have your preschooler call someone ‘weird’ in front of their parents. Win-win.

How to do it

Step 1: Notice your own snap judgments—even the silly ones, like opinions about pineapple on pizza.

Step 2: When you catch yourself making a quick judgment, pause and reframe your thoughts out loud. This way, your child hears your updated, more thoughtful perspective.

Step 3: Talk openly with your child about how everyone has different backgrounds and experiences. Emphasize that these differences are what make life interesting (cue the rainbow and unicorns, optional).

Step 4: Keep practicing. Remember, this is a lifelong habit, not a one-time fix.

Tips:

  • Be gentle with yourself; everyone makes snap judgments sometimes.
  • Use everyday moments as teaching opportunities.
  • Encourage your child to share their own thoughts and questions.
  • Celebrate curiosity and open-mindedness in your family conversations.

Whenever you catch yourself making a comment about someone else (even in your head),

Pause and ask yourself, ‘Would I want my kid to repeat this?’
Give yourself a mental high-five or whisper ‘nice catch!’ like you just dodged a Lego barefoot.
Stick a silly reminder (like a sticker or a doodle) on your phone or fridge to prompt self-checks.

When you sit down for storytime or screen time with your child,

Point out and name one positive thing about a character who’s different from your family.
Smile and share a quick fist bump with your kid—bonus points for sound effects.
Pick one book or show that features diverse characters to keep handy.

When you notice your child asking questions about someone’s appearance or behavior,

Model a curious, open-ended question (e.g., ‘I wonder what makes their outfit special?’).
Do a little victory dance in your head—extra style points for jazz hands.
Write a sticky note with the phrase ‘curious, not judgy’ and put it on your bathroom mirror.