Talk Openly and Age-Appropriately About the Risks of Smoking, Alcohol, and Drugs.

So you want to talk about the Big Scary Stuff—smoking, alcohol, and all the things you hope your kid never touches, but you also don’t want to sound like a malfunctioning D.A.R.E. robot. Welcome to the 'How Do I Say This Without Making It Weirder?' Olympics! If you’ve ever rehearsed a speech in the shower and then totally blanked when your kid asked, 'What’s a vape?'—this one’s for you.

Kids who hear honest, age-appropriate info from you are less likely to get their facts from the kid who thinks Mountain Dew is a performance-enhancing drug. These talks build trust, boost their decision-making brain circuits, and help them develop that all-important 'pause and think' reflex before following the crowd. For you, it’s a chance to flex your 'I’m a safe person to talk to' muscles—which, let’s face it, is the real superpower here.

How to do it

Choose a relaxed time to start the conversation, such as while driving or folding laundry. This helps keep things casual and prevents it from feeling like an interrogation.

Begin by asking what they already know. Be prepared for any kind of answer.

When responding, keep your explanations simple and honest. Avoid sharing scary details unless you want to risk late-night worries.

If you don’t know the answer to something, admit it. Suggest looking up the information together.

Let them know they can always come to you with questions, no matter how strange or awkward those questions might seem.

Repeat these steps as needed. Remember, these conversations are ongoing—think of it as a marathon, not a sprint.

Tips:

  • Stay calm and approachable.
  • Listen without judgment.
  • Use age-appropriate language.
  • Reassure them that curiosity is normal.
  • Keep the lines of communication open.

When you see a cigarette ad, someone vaping, or alcohol in a movie or while out and about.

Casually point it out and ask, 'What do you think about that?'
Give yourself a mental high-five for starting the conversation, or reward yourself with an extra square of chocolate.
Jot down two or three facts or stories about smoking, alcohol, or drugs that are age-appropriate and true (no urban legends about exploding teeth).

When your child brings up something they heard at school or from friends.

Say, 'Let’s check this out together,' and spend one minute looking at the resource.
Smile and say, 'I love how we can talk about anything.'
Bookmark a kid-friendly resource (like a video or website) about substance risks on your phone.

When your child asks a tricky question about substances.

Respond with, 'That’s a good question,' and take a deep breath before answering.
Do a subtle victory dance (internal or external) for not panicking.
Practice saying, 'That’s a good question,' in the mirror so it rolls off your tongue.