Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself as a Father

Ever tried to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions and a toddler as your supervisor? Welcome to fatherhood, where ‘good enough’ is basically Olympic gold. If you’ve ever felt like you’re winging it while everyone else is reading from a secret parenting script—spoiler: we’re all improvising. This is your permission slip to drop the dad guilt and celebrate surviving another day with your dignity (mostly) intact.

When you ditch the myth of perfection, your stress levels drop, your self-compassion rises, and—fun fact—your brain stops sending out those ‘you’re failing’ alarms every five minutes. Kids pick up on your relaxed vibes, which helps them feel secure and teaches them that mistakes are normal, not catastrophic. Basically, you’re rewiring both your brain and theirs for resilience, not anxiety.

How to do it

  1. Set your expectations at "reasonable human" rather than aiming to be a superhero. This helps reduce unnecessary pressure and makes parenting more sustainable.

  2. When you make a mistake (and you will), say it out loud. For example: “Oops, Daddy forgot the wipes again!” This models self-compassion and normalizes imperfection for your kids.

  3. Each day, take a moment to notice at least one thing you did well—even if it’s just keeping everyone alive. Small wins count.

  4. Connect with a dad buddy or join an online group where you can share real stories, not just highlight reels. Honest conversations help you feel less alone.

  5. When guilt starts to creep in, remind yourself: “Good enough is great. Perfect doesn’t exist.” This mindset helps you stay grounded and kinder to yourself.

Key Tips:

  • Lower the bar to a realistic level.
  • Normalize mistakes by acknowledging them out loud.
  • Celebrate small daily successes.
  • Seek out genuine support from other dads.
  • Practice self-compassion and reject perfectionism.

When you brush your teeth in the morning.

Glance at the post-it and say, ‘Good enough is great’ out loud (or in your head if you’re not ready to weird out your toothbrush).
Give yourself a cheesy wink in the mirror—bonus points for a dad joke.
Stick a post-it note on your bathroom mirror that says ‘Good enough is great!’

The moment you feel like you’ve messed up or dropped the ball.

Look at the meme or quote for 5 seconds.
Take a deep breath and let yourself smile, even if it’s just a little.
Save a funny dad meme or relatable parenting quote to your phone’s favorites.

When the reminder pops up (maybe after bedtime chaos).

Mentally list one thing you did well today, no matter how small.
Do a celebratory fist pump, even if the only witness is a pile of laundry.
Set a daily reminder on your phone titled ‘You’re doing better than you think.’