Adapt Your Parenting Strategies as Your Child Grows and Matures

Remember when you thought you’d finally cracked the code on bedtime, only for your kid to suddenly decide pajamas are lava and sleep is for the weak? Welcome to Level-Up Parenting, where the rules change every time you blink. If you’ve ever felt like your child is a new person every six months (and your parenting manual is written in invisible ink), this chapter is for you.

Kids thrive when parents adjust their approach as they grow—think of it as updating your parenting software to match their ever-changing operating system. This helps kids build trust, resilience, and self-esteem, while also keeping your own neural circuits nimble (goodbye, autopilot parenting). Adapting your strategies supports healthy brain development by giving your child just the right balance of support and independence for their age.

How to do it

Notice what’s actually working (or not) with your child right now—not six months ago. Pay attention to their current needs and behaviors, as these can change quickly.

Ask your child—yes, even the tiny ones—what they need or how they feel. Listening to their perspective can offer valuable insights and help them feel heard.

Be willing to try something new, even if it feels weird or you’re pretty sure you’ll mess it up. Flexibility is key when adapting to your child’s changing needs.

Swap notes with your partner or fellow parents for fresh ideas. Sharing experiences can provide new strategies and reassurance that you’re not alone.

When in doubt, apologize, laugh, and try again. Parenting is a learning process, and it’s normal to make mistakes. Repeat as your child inevitably changes again next week.

Key Tips:

  • Stay present and responsive to your child’s current needs.
  • Encourage open communication, even with very young children.
  • Embrace experimentation and don’t fear mistakes.
  • Seek support and ideas from other parents or caregivers.
  • Maintain a sense of humor and flexibility as you adapt.

When you brush your teeth in the morning.

Think of one thing your child did differently or struggled with yesterday.
Smile at your reflection and give yourself a mental high-five for noticing change (look at you, evolving!).
Stick a sticky note on your bathroom mirror that says 'What’s new with my kid?'

When you see your kid after school or daycare.

Ask, 'What was the best part of your day?'
Do a quick happy dance or fist pump (bonus if your kid joins in).
Add a recurring reminder to your phone: 'Check in with your kid.'

When you open the fridge for a snack or meal prep.

Remind yourself: 'My kid is growing, so am I.'
Treat yourself to your favorite snack (parenting XP unlocked!).
Place a 'Parenting Level Up' sticker or doodle on your fridge.