Develop Your Own Emotional Intelligence

Ever feel like your mood is a weather app gone rogue? One minute you’re sunshine-dad, next minute it’s thunderstorm-dad because someone asked for the blue cup, not the green. Emotional intelligence isn’t just for TED Talks—it’s for surviving breakfast. If you’ve ever wanted to respond to chaos with less Hulk-smash and more wise-owl, this one’s for you.

When you manage your emotions, your brain’s stress circuits chill out (hello, prefrontal cortex!), making you less likely to yell and more likely to problem-solve. For your kid, seeing you handle emotions like a slightly frazzled but functional Jedi teaches them emotional regulation, empathy, and that feelings—even the big, ugly ones—are okay.

How to do it

Step 1: Notice when you’re about to morph into "angry-dad." Pay attention to your warning signs—like that twitchy eyebrow, which is often a dead giveaway.

Step 2: Pause and take a breath. Make sure it’s a real, deep breath—not just a sigh of defeat.

Step 3: Name your feeling out loud. Get creative if you like! For example, say, “I am experiencing a full-on snack-time meltdown.”

Step 4: Choose your next move. You might:

  • Walk away for a second
  • Splash water on your face
  • Channel your inner Mr. Rogers

Repeat these steps as necessary, especially during the challenging "witching hour."

Key Tips:

  • Recognize your personal warning signs before frustration escalates.
  • Use humor or creativity when naming your feelings—it can help diffuse tension.
  • Have a few go-to calming strategies ready.
  • Remember, it’s okay to take a break and reset.

When you hear your child start to whine or yell.

Pause and silently name your emotion ('frustrated', 'tired', 'I need coffee').
Give yourself a mental high-five or whisper, 'nailed it,' to the fridge magnet.
Stick a goofy emoji magnet on the fridge as a reminder to check your mood.

Whenever you get a notification or check your phone.

Take one deep breath and notice how you’re feeling.
Smile and imagine you’re starring in a sitcom called 'Dad Survives Another Day.'
Set a recurring reminder on your phone with a funny message like, 'how’s your dad mood?'

When you make or drink your morning coffee.

Glance at the list and pick the one you’re feeling right now.
Raise your mug in a tiny, invisible toast to emotional awareness.
Write a list of your three most common dad-emotions on a sticky note and stick it near your coffee maker.