Practice Empathy

Ever tried negotiating with a tiny lawyer who can’t pronounce ‘negotiation’? Welcome to empathy boot camp, where you attempt to decode the mysterious logic of ‘why pants are evil’ or ‘why bedtime is betrayal.’ If you’ve ever wondered why your child is melting down over the blue cup (again), this is your chance to put on their pint-sized shoes and see the world through maximum drama lenses. Spoiler: It’s less about the cup and more about feeling seen (or maybe it’s just about the cup, who knows).

Practicing empathy helps your child feel understood and secure, which literally wires their brain for better emotional regulation (science says so!). For parents, it’s like a stress-buffer—when you stop taking tantrums personally, your own blood pressure thanks you. Over time, these empathy reps build trust and stronger bonds, and your kid learns to mirror that empathy back (eventually, after the blue cup crisis is over).

How to do it

  1. When your child is upset, pause and take a deep breath. Remind yourself: This is big for them, even if it’s small for me.

  2. Get down to your child’s level. Kneel or sit so you are face-to-face, making it easier to connect.

  3. Name the emotion you think your child is feeling. For example:
    “You’re sad because your dinosaur won’t stand up, huh?”

  4. Validate their feelings, even if you can’t solve the problem. Let them know it’s okay to feel that way.

  5. Offer comfort, such as a hug or simply your calm presence. Sometimes, just being there is enough.

  • Repeat these steps as needed, especially during those unexpected, banana-related emergencies.

Key Tips:

  • Stay calm and patient, even if the issue seems minor to you.
  • Use simple, clear language when naming feelings.
  • Physical closeness can help your child feel safe and understood.
  • Validation doesn’t require fixing the problem—just acknowledging the feeling is powerful.
  • Consistency helps your child learn to trust and manage their emotions.

When you notice your child starting to get frustrated or upset.

Pause for two seconds and silently guess what your child might be feeling or wanting.
Give yourself a mental high-five or whisper, 'Empathy ninja!'
Put a sticky note on the fridge that says, 'What would my kid say right now?'

When you unlock your phone for the hundredth time today.

Glance at the photo and think, 'What’s life like for them right now?'
Smile or take a deep breath, knowing you just flexed your empathy muscle.
Save a funny or sweet photo of your child as your phone lock screen.

When your child starts a meltdown over something mysterious.

Say out loud, 'Are you feeling [feeling word] because of [situation]?'
Give yourself a wink in the mirror or do a tiny fist pump.
Teach your child a simple feelings word, like 'frustrated' or 'excited.'