Encourage Independence and Autonomy (Age-Appropriate)

Ever watched a pint-sized human insist on zipping their own coat while you’re already late? Welcome to the ‘I DO IT MYSELF’ Olympics—where patience is gold and the medal is a lopsided sandwich they made solo. If you’re ready to surrender control (and maybe your tidy kitchen) for the sake of raising a mini-boss, this one’s for you.

Letting your kid tackle little tasks on their own fires up their brain’s problem-solving circuits and boosts their sense of self-efficacy—science speak for ‘I can do stuff!’ It also lowers anxiety (yours, eventually) and helps them build resilience, creativity, and confidence. Plus, every tiny victory rewires their brain for independence. (And hey, maybe one day they’ll actually put their shoes on the right feet.)

How to do it

Start by picking age-appropriate tasks. For example, let your child:

  • Pour their own milk (keep a towel nearby for spills)
  • Choose their clothes (even if it’s polka dots and plaid)
  • Brush their own teeth (follow up with a quick parental check)

Resist the urge to jump in or correct every misstep. Count to ten, take a deep breath, and let them try again. This helps build their confidence and independence.

Offer plenty of encouragement with high-fives and enthusiastic “you did it!” moments. Celebrate their efforts, no matter how small.

Keep your expectations flexible—adjust them as needed, just like your schedule. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection.

When you and your child go to wash hands before a meal.

Let your child turn on the faucet and wash their own hands (even if it means water everywhere).
Give them a high-five and say, ‘You’re a hand-washing pro!’
Put a step stool in the bathroom so your child can reach the sink.

When your child says they’re hungry.

Invite your child to pick and open their own snack from the drawer.
Cheer, ‘Snack master in the house!’
Organize a low drawer with easy snacks your child can reach.

When it’s time to get dressed in the morning.

Let your child choose which outfit to wear—even if it’s the one with the tutu and dinosaur shirt.
Snap a silly photo and say, ‘Fashion superstar!’
Lay out two outfit options the night before.

After a snack or meal when crumbs inevitably appear.

Invite your child to sweep up a few crumbs themselves.
Do a little victory dance together—‘Crumb buster!’
Keep a small broom or dustpan handy in the kitchen.