Be a Positive Male Role Model, Demonstrating Integrity, Kindness, and Respect

Ever feel like you’re auditioning for the role of ‘World’s Most Patient Man’ while your kid paints the dog’s tail blue and your partner witnesses the chaos with a single raised eyebrow? Yeah, me too. If you’re wondering how to be the adultiest adult in the room (even when you’d rather join the fort-building crew), this is your cheat sheet for showing up with integrity, kindness, and respect—no cape required, but highly recommended for morale.

Kids are little sponges—when they see you handle frustration with kindness or admit when you’re wrong, their brains light up with all the good stuff: empathy, self-control, and trust. For you, modeling integrity and respect can actually lower your stress (eventually!) and build a stronger bond, because your child knows they can count on you to be fair, honest, and safe—even when the juice hits the fan.

How to do it

  • Narrate your choices out loud. For example, say, “I’m frustrated, but I’m taking a deep breath.” This helps model emotional regulation for everyone around you.

  • Apologize when you mess up. Don’t be afraid to make it dramatic: “I was wrong, and I’m sorry for yelling about the Lego minefield.” Owning your mistakes sets a powerful example.

  • Praise kindness whenever you see it—in your child, yourself, the dog, or anyone else. Recognizing positive behavior encourages more of it.

  • Treat everyone in the house with respect, including yourself. Remember, it’s okay to ask for a break when you need one.

  • Repeat these steps as necessary, especially on Mondays and rainy days.

Tips:

  • Be consistent; repetition helps build positive habits.
  • Use humor and exaggeration to make apologies memorable.
  • Self-care is just as important as caring for others.
  • Small moments of kindness and respect add up over time.

When you notice your child watching you during a challenging moment (like dropping your phone or stepping on a rogue toy).

Say one kind thing out loud about how you’re handling it (‘Oops! That surprised me, but I’m going to stay calm’).
Give yourself a mental high-five or whisper, ‘nailed it’ under your breath.
Put a sticky note on the fridge that says 'Model the Good Stuff.'

During the bedtime routine, while brushing teeth together.

Say the kindness phrase out loud to your child.
Smile at your reflection—bonus points for a silly face.
Pick a favorite family kindness phrase (like ‘we help each other’ or ‘kindness counts’) and write it on a bathroom mirror.

After you see your child or yourself do something respectful or honest.

Write a quick note (‘shared toys today!’) and drop it in the jar.
Shake the jar and do a little victory wiggle.
Create a ‘kindness jar’ with slips of paper for quick notes.