Take Ownership of Parenting Tasks; Don't Just 'Help Out'.

Ever feel like you’re the intern in your own house, waiting for your boss (aka your partner) to assign you tasks? This one’s about trading in your 'helper' badge for a full-on co-parenting cape. If you’re tired of being asked to chop the carrots but never to plan the meal, this is your moment—let’s step up, own a task, and shock everyone (including yourself) by knowing where the wipes are.

For you: a mega-boost in confidence, a sense of actual partnership, and maybe even a few new neural pathways (hello, memory for baby sock locations!). For your kid: they get two fully-engaged parents, which means more secure attachment, better emotional development, and the subtle message that parenting isn’t a one-person show. Plus, your partner’s stress gets dialed down from DEFCON 1 to, like, DEFCON 3.

How to do it

  • Choose one recurring parenting task—such as bath time, packing school lunches, or another daily routine—and make it your responsibility. Take ownership without waiting for permission or instructions.

  • Learn all the details involved in your chosen task. For example, know where the bath toys are stored or how much peanut butter is appropriate for a sandwich. Adjust your methods as you gain experience.

  • Take initiative. Don’t wait for someone to ask you to handle the task—just do it.

  • Keep your partner informed about what you’re doing, but don’t expect praise every time (though it’s okay to appreciate recognition now and then).

  • If you make a mistake, don’t stress. Laugh it off, fix the issue, and move forward. The important thing is that you’re participating and making an effort.

Key Tips:

  • Consistency builds confidence and trust.
  • Small adjustments can make the task smoother over time.
  • Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings.
  • Embrace mistakes as part of the learning process.

After dinner, when the dishes are cleared.

Say out loud, 'I’m starting bedtime now,' and walk toward the kid’s room.
Do a silent fist pump or give yourself a wink in the bathroom mirror.
Pick one parenting task (e.g., bedtime routine) and put a sticky note on the bathroom mirror: 'My Task: Bedtime Boss.'

When you hear your child’s favorite TV show end.

Grab your supply basket and bring it to the living room.
Give your child a high-five or do a goofy dance together.
Organize a small basket with all the supplies needed for your chosen task (e.g., diaper caddy, bath kit).

When you finish your morning coffee.

Open the fridge and pick one item for your kid’s lunch.
Snap a photo of your culinary masterpiece (or disaster) and send it to your partner with a funny caption.
Add a recurring reminder on your phone: 'Lunchbox Legend Time!'