Celebrate Their Social Successes and Support Them Through Social Setbacks

You know that moment when your kid finally gets invited to a birthday party and you want to throw confetti, but last week they were sobbing because 'nobody picked me for tag'? Welcome to the emotional roller-coaster that is your child’s social life! If you’ve ever found yourself celebrating a successful playdate like it’s the Super Bowl, only to be called in for emergency hugs after a playground snub, this one’s for you. Spoiler: You might need snacks. For both of you.

Kids who feel supported through social highs and lows build stronger self-esteem, resilience, and empathy. When you celebrate their wins, their brains get a lovely hit of dopamine (hello, happy chemicals!). When you help them process setbacks, you’re literally wiring their brains for better emotional regulation and problem-solving. Bonus: You get to practice your own deep breathing.

How to do it

When your child shares a social success, celebrate enthusiastically. Give high-fives, do a silly dance, or simply say, "That’s awesome!" Showing excitement helps reinforce their positive experience.
If they talk about a setback, focus on listening. Avoid jumping in to fix the problem right away. Instead, offer empathy with responses like, "That sounds tough." Let them know you’re there to support them.
Help your child identify their feelings by naming them. Say things like, "You seem sad," or "You look frustrated." Share a story about a time you felt the same way to help them feel understood and less alone.
Work together to brainstorm one small step they could try next time. This could be something simple, like saying hi to a new friend or asking to join a game. Small actions can build confidence over time.
Remind both your child and yourself that social skills take practice, just like learning to ride a bike. It might feel wobbly at first, but with encouragement and time, they’ll improve.

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